Have you played God of War: Ragnarok yet? No spoilers (I’m only about 7 hours in), but there’s a line where Mimir tells Atreus that there are multiple ways to be tired, and that he’ll learn this as he gets older. I feel that in my soul tonight. I’m not just 10pm tired. I’m like, April tired. I’m 30-something tired. I have just enough energy to write this post, then enjoy a little Netflix tonight. But, I don’t have the energy to April Fool you. You can put your guard down now!
I feel I’m due for a catch-up post.
Last year at Phoenix Comic Con, my good friend Katie did my astrological chart.
I wasn’t entirely sure how much I believed in these sorts of things. I do, however, have a vivid memory of a woman named Nora.
Nora was a coworker of mine when I got my first real job at Century Theater. We used to clean theaters together. A core memory is the fact that we used to have to check behind the curtains at 2 a.m. to make sure nobody was sleeping there. (They were.) Anyway, Nora had a gift. The first night I worked with her, she asked me if I was a Virgo. I definitely AM a Virgo, and maybe this is obvious. The thing is, I’m a cusp, and Nora knew that, too. And I was baffled. Virgo is a 1/12 shot. Knowing that I’m Virgo/Libra is a 1/365 shot. I never forgot Nora. (Side note: Century Theater was demolished a few weeks ago. I’m feeling oddly nostalgic about it, and also smug as hell about it.)
Back to Katie: What I remember most about my chart is that she told me I’m supposed to be in front of people… that I do my best work when I’m “public facing,” as long as I have my safe haven to retreat to and can look forward to going home. This was probably one of the realest things anyone has told me about myself. I AM a hardcore introvert, but I do feel that my best work is done when I’m out and about. Writing is fun… when it’s not frustrating. Editing is thrilling… when the pieces come together. Being out and about sharing my stories with others? It’s always priceless. I could do it all day. My 9-5 life? It’s highly social and service-oriented. My least favorite days are the ones where I’m behind a screen all day. BUT, I need to go home, I need to tune everything out, and I need to be a whole turtle in my shell.
I have somewhat of an “introvert hangover” from the electric energy of March.
I had a wonderful time presenting for a very special group at the Tucson Festival of Books. The following weekend, I made four drives between Tucson and Apache Junction for the Arizona Renaissance Festival, which was the best and most productive signing I’ve ever done. And the FOLLOWING weekend, I had a writing deadline. More on that later.
Things are not about to get quieter. I have no free weekends in April.
Then May, June, and July? If you know me, those are the months when it’s REALLY go time. There’s another deadline tucked in there, too.
Somewhere in all this beautiful chaos, my inboxes have exploded. I’ve had to say a lot of no’s, put up some boundaries, and a lot of messages are going unread or unanswered. If this is you, I’m sorry and it’s not personal! Social media in general has started to feel a lot more laborious for me. There was a time when I posted every day and leaned into the mundane aspects of my life. Here’s the Sexy Grilled Cheese I ordered from Sexy Grilled Cheese! Here’s the book I’m reading at the laundromat these days! Here’s my cheesy grin after the gym! But lately, I guess I feel more protective of those simple joys–like if I post them, I minimize the moment I actually have with them. There was a weird study that I saw once, where it was determined that “Instagramming” one’s food actually diminishes the taste. Isn’t that wild?
So, one update is that now when I’m home, I’m FULLY at home. In other words, I’ve scaled back tremendously on my social media time. Maybe you won’t notice the difference. I hope it still feels cozy and relatable on top of what I share about my book stuff. But I’m warding off those “introvert hangovers” and being more selective about what I share. I promise, if I meet the love of my life or discover the sexiest grilled cheese in the world or read something that changes my life (aren’t these all the same thing?), I will not keep it secret. Not forever, at least…
Speaking of social media: Have you watched The Circle? I find it hilarious and entertaining when I need something mindless to watch.
Oh! Back to that deadline… in the middle of the summer, I will begin posting weekly episodes of a fantasy serial called GODFATHER DEATH, M.D. This is based loosely on a lesser known story by the Brothers Grimm, and it’s beyond my comfort zone in a couple of different ways. The serial nature will be different for me. It’s also more dark-and-dreary than it is fun-and-heartwarming. I will be providing content warnings about a few instances of strong language, and about the deep dive into the characters’ experiences with grief. With that said, it will not be entirely off brand for me–just aged up! It will start on Kindle Vella, and it will then be bound into an omnibus at the end of the run. I can’t wait to share more later!
So to recap… social media is draining, and I’m writing a book drenched in grief. You’re probably like, “Are you okay?” Well, thank you for checking in! I’m still going to the gym a few times a week. I’ve spent the past few weeks doing a really difficult Iron Man puzzle and have like 300 red pieces scattered all over the floor. I started watching Ted Lasso recently, because two separate people have told me that I’m Ted, and I’ve decided that was one of the nicest compliments I’ve ever received. I finally bought a PS5 after months of planning, saving, and looking around for one. The world is chaos, but hey, I’m still chillin’ and finding comforts and joys. I hope you are, too. 🙂
Until next time, friend.